“Big Long Huge Bugle Man”

January 30, 2015 / Humour

By Alex Reeves

After looking at our Google Analytics for the year, we’re finally giving the people what they want.

We pay attention to our Google Analytics because we’re not idiots. We want to know which articles people are most interested in and we endeavour to please our readership. But there’s a limit. Most of the time we make the editorial decision not to write articles just for the hits, but just for this article we’re going to give the twisted Googlers what they want. Here are the weirdest and most disturbing search terms that led people to The Beak Street Bugle in 2014.

 

“big long huge bugle man”
We Google image searched this term and found ourselves in good company. A good time for anyone who appreciates the beauty of the male form and a harrowing reminder that ‘bugle’ is a common typo for ‘bulge’.

 

 

“ginger oferral”
One of our editors Lewis More O’Ferrall will not reveal if he is, or has ever been, a redhead. It’s an intriguing thought though. We made this lifelike mock-up to quench our curiosity.

 

 

“alex reeves oil paintings”
Editor / staff writer Alex Reeves has never done an oil painting in his life because he’s an uncultured oik. If he did, it would probably look something like this.

 

 

“bak street bygle”
Who amongst us hasn’t found themselves in a grubby alleyway (Brick Lane most likely) at three o’clock in the morning, craving Jewish baked goods. And in that situation, who can still spell complex words like ‘back’ and Yiddish ones like ‘beigel’? We have a lot of empathy for this Googler.

 

 

“chubb hairy”
(also:
burgundy speedos
chubby bear men
chubby men in leather
daddy bear hairy big man perfect in chainiz
free tight underwear bugles pic
hairy guy from commercial in speedo
hairy guy in speedo commercial
hairy guy on beach
hairy man at beach
hairy man speedo images
hairy man speedo images
hairy man speedo
hairymen beach photo
male chubby on beach)

Be careful Googling these terms. Thanks to this article we are now plagued by them. But we aim to please so here are some of the images you were really after:

 

 

“commercial directors are twats”
Well, we've found the headline for our next opinion column...


Thanks to our digital marketing specialist, Anita Jasser of Sofarbeyond. We couldn’t have made these important strategic insights without her.

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